~ P A M c a k e s ~

On the way to Recovery

2007-07-17T11:57:00.000+08:00

Thank God!

Today I've realized the answer to my ongoing question. I've been asking myself, "Now that I've become a Christian, why is it that I feel I've become 'worse', experiencing more pain... feeling that life was happier before, without much cares in the world?"

But Rick Warren's message in an interview hit me. I finally found the answer. He said, "God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy... The goal is to grow in character, in Christlikeness... You can focus on your purposes, on God and on others because if you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centredness."

And that's what I've become - selfish, self-centred. As if everything is about me.

Now, even though there's pain, I know God is dealing with me. And I thank Him for purifying me. For removing the idols of my heart. He has just removed them. Those things that we place higher than Him, those people in whom we set our hopes or dreams on. They fade away in the saving grace of Christ, who is the one, the only one who truly loves. He is the one who will "never leave us nor forsake us".

I've been proud, angry and I've harbored unforgiveness in my heart because I was mainly insecure, frustrated, stressed and tired. But now, I want to leave that kind of life and I pray that God will deal with the deepest cuts I had and have right now. He is my Healer.

I want to apologize to those I've hurt. Maybe one day, they will read this and know that I seek their forgiveness. I pray that they won't harbor unforgiveness against me so that all of us will be released from bitterness and pain. This time in this new episode of life, I aim to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to be angry.

~ p a m ~

a time to pause

2007-03-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

Life is too short to let things pass by.
Every second can actually be a moment you will never forget...
If you strive hard and look hard enough into the intangibles
it may make better sense.

But of course, you'll never know when it can hit you, just suddenly hit you -
that all these things that surround us are actually of no value.
Wealth, money, fame, career, well they may be good but is the race to win really worth it?
It may seem to be ... but until when will one race & up to what extent will one compromise just to win?

Battles of today's modern men are more complicated than it seems.
At the surface we take pride in our unending quest to succeed but deep inside
each and everyone's heart is a longing, a spiritual thirst...
Wandering, as if in a desert, as to where our steps really lead.

A question of life after death, perhaps? Or mere ramblings in our quiet thoughts.
Sadly, in the busyness of our daily business we ignore , or even choose to ignore the
call for enlightenment. I reckon that even for a moment, for that one second, we should pause. Just stop and reflect on the things that have become... so we can Quench the thirst of our spirits longing to be filled.

Hope for the Modern Unrulies

2006-10-22T21:10:00.000+08:00

Ode to the Humble

How truly intense...
And sometimes almost bewildering to me
One's poise amidst all wreck
Composure in those moments of solitude and even rage.

A stance which bespeaks of pure control
Or perhaps a-masking of those raw emotions
Intelligence and grace...modernizing our barbaric attempts to survive yet another race
Albeit in fits of treachery and betrayal
Or acceptance in the guise of today's so-called virtue of "professionalism"

What once was true kindness is now blotted with feelings of paranoia
And plagues of these depressed souls: just wanting to climb
up the ladder of their ever elusive heaven of success

But there is hope.

Check thy hearts from the indignant
For there must be reason behind all fancies
Must not thou feign emotion
For sincerity can never run amock,
As in the long crusade of the faitful

Now, faith in the minions of focus, dredging all distractions
Crucify thy lusts and prefer thy humility
For then honor comes to awaken hibernating delights -
The ferver of melancholies and drunkards alike is lost in the revelries of hopeful "bastards"
Whose angelic voices can finally evoke a teardrop
As they are freed from their self inflicted chains and pains

Finally... as though another breath of life has come to pass...

And the reward for delayed gratification has now come.

Thank you

2006-09-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

My PR status has recently been approved.
And I just want to thank the Lord for his faithfulness.
Let's just stop and remember His goodness.
Inspite of all our shortcomings He has proven ever so faithful in my life.
That's why I'm here waiting. waiting for the day to come.

....

Praise Jesus forever!!!

Economics? La ako masabi

2006-07-26T15:26:00.000+08:00

Being raised in the Philippines and living in Singapore for 6 years now equips me with a multi-dimensional view of factors shaping economies. To date, the Philippines is still engulfed in what I fondly call “star politics” where the uneducated electorate determines their vote by mass popularity and plain showbusiness.

I am disappointed by the status quo and yet I look at the highly developed country of Singapore where corruption is at its minimum, where multinational businesses thrive, where development has been realized in remarkable rates of progress (a whopping speed of merely 30 years), and yet amidst all these...I see a people greatly under stress, fighting to maintain the top position and craving for freedom.

Will the next generation of governance live up to the standards? How can we achieve the ideal democracy? What is best for the economies of Asia? These are only a few examples of questions that run through my mind, in my daily musings about the highs and the lows of my surroundings.... Oh diba? *feel*

My Favorite Christian Songs

2006-06-03T03:40:00.000+08:00

1. When God Ran

2. I Seek You For I Thirst

3. Mourning Into Dancing

4. Firm Foundation

5. Sure Foundation

OVERCOME

2006-05-30T01:00:00.000+08:00

I just came from the theatres and had fun hanging out
with new found friends over X-Men.

It's amazing how much love can be sooo selfless and sooo unselfish
Most people would take what Wolverine did as downright tragic
But I find more truth to his love than in most romance novels elsewhere.

Overcoming the fear of losing is just brave if you look at it.
There are a lot of things I wish to overcome and I will.
For one, the fear of needles and injections.
Second, the fear of heights
Finally, the fear of being alone.

Life is sweeter when you choose faith rather than fear
Independence, freedom, and self-worth.

Looking back to my younger days gives me carefree memories
But I don't want to look back anymore on happy thoughts
I want to look forward to them.

Overcoming the fear and choosing faith. That's the key.
Only two options and one choice.... fear or faith

Let's overcome and choose the road less travelled because there's eternity in faithfulness

Itchy groove

2006-05-28T17:02:00.000+08:00

A relaxing day for me...
Another rainy Sunday
With the cool breeze and the blue sky
I simply like "today".

But what I really miss is dancing
I miss our performances back in high school & college.
I'm thinking of forming a dance club here in Singapore.

Hmmm... you think anyone will be interested?
I mean it's surely better than paying a chunk o' dough
for formal classes....

haiz! Itchy groove!

Another Shady surprise

2006-05-27T15:16:00.000+08:00

The prince calms my precious mem'ries
Strengthening every moment passing
Swift and certain as heaven's breath

My future untouched.

The fortune's yet unfolding
Breathless as I wait
Another shady surprise.

4ward 2ward A craZeeWeeK

2006-03-05T23:25:00.000+08:00

I'm bout to doze off
hopin' to get sleepy soon
& I'm thinkin':
"it's gonna be a full hectic monday to wednesday"

We're handling quite a number of projects lately
And I pray that all of 'em be a success!

Counting on my Big Pop Upstairs...
Faith
Hope
Love

thursday peak

2006-01-26T12:18:00.000+08:00

The world of hearts and dreams of truth.
There's an immense intensity... an icy drop of reality.
Imagine. Create. Love.

2006-01-23T19:23:00.000+08:00

I reckon that everyone feels like a dying rose at one point or another... Below is something I've written at one low point of my life. It may make you feel good knowing that you are so much better ---->

I realized that every teardrop is precious. Each drop that falls is literally equivalent to one bad memory, one tragic moment...those that could change our lives forever. These tears are more expensice than diamonds to me because they reveal my deep most hurts and pains.

I am sad beyond fixin'

I am scared and torn, just wishing to dry my tears. If I could only fool myself that tomorrow's gonna be better, that maybe there's still a sunshine waiting to greet me each morning; that perhaps a prince will wipe all my sadness away and bring me to his castle where there are no more tears to speak of.

I am lonely, lonelier than you could ever imagine...

Welcome to the FreeRadiCalZ

2006-01-12T18:26:00.000+08:00

My company, CreativesAsia, is working on this upcoming project. It's really big and interesting. It's going to be a 3d animation all about a teenage band. To be part of the production for this project would surely be very exciting... can't wait!

Anyway, I will give you guys more updates on the production and all at this site.... http://freeradz.blogspot.com/

I hope you check it out! And do leave some comments as I bring you in the adventure of this production! thanks a million gazillion! Hope to hear from you on how we can improve the freeradicalz project!

Pam

it's starting to interest me

2005-12-05T02:34:00.000+08:00

I want to learn photography. More than capturing the moment, i want to paint that intense feeling with every click. Since I love poetry, I'd like to let my images speak out vivid words.

The glory of an orange

2005-11-21T13:37:00.000+08:00

It is said that the glory of an orange is in its juice!
Cut open. Apply pressure. And squeeze.

Isn't it just the same with people?

With every calamity, a hero stands out
Under pressure, strong character is built
And in times of sorrow, hope is born

Truly, the glory of a man is found within.
Not in the shape of their nose, nor the color they hold.
Not on the teeth they bare, nor the clothes they wear.
Not on how much money they carry, or who they marry.
These things will never determine one's glory.

Glorious Glory is found within.
It is in the loving heart of one who cares and shares
It is in the precious soul of one who forgives and is forgiven
It is in the single-minded who pursues wisdom and understands
It is in the holy spirit of one who is determined to please the Lord.

The glory of men is like the glory of oranges
You have to cut, squeeze and work them under pressure
Before you see the innate beauty they hide within...
That glorious yummy kind'a goodness!

...That Glorious Glory of Oranges!

(inspired by yesterday's sermon in church)

waiting for my choice of balance

2005-11-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

I can't breathe once again… the heaviness pressing deeply against my beating heart. Where shall I go? There are two paths and one may lead to destruction. But…who knows, it may not. I may never know.

Shall I try and fight? And risk once more? I've been here before.
But this time my heart won't win it all for I prefer balance.
The choice of balance relies on weighing scales: 1mind. 1 heart.1 soul.

Yet discount not the magic of fate, carrying us to wherever we should go.
Etching out my name in that mysterious palette of color & black & whites.
Of proverbial and woeful characters in my on-going storybook

The life plan of this sweet little follower is a spectrum of the candid & uncanny. Breathe me. Stop me from planning and making sure.
Oh sweet dependence of grace, slowing me from my rushing pace.

What a familiar place to find myself once more under the unknown.
This time I ain't crawling. I ran and I walked and I can keep steady.
Wait for me. I still need to discover my stronghold and infallible reliance.

2005-11-05T20:40:00.000+08:00

CALL TO THE FILIPINO ARTIST

The filmmaker, like his fellow artists in differentmedia, has now realized that the artist is also apublic person. He does not work in isolation fromsociety. Instead of working alone in his ivory towerthe is a citizen of the slums, of the streets, of thebattlefield if need be. The artist is always aparticipant. He tries to be true not only to his craftbut also to himself. For it is the supreme duty of theartist to investigate the truth, no matter what forcesattempt to hide it. And then to report it to thepeople, to confront them with it, like a whiplash thatwill cause wounds but will free the mind from thevarious fantasies and escapist fare that theEstablishment pollutes our minds with.To the best of our abilities, and even if weoftentimes fail, we want to do works that will hurt,films that will disturb, films that will not make yourest. For the times are really bad, and given timeslike these, it is a crime to rest. We can not rest,and we should not, while theres a fellow Filipinostarving in Negros, an Aquino or Galman crying for garbage while a corrupt family rules the countrywithuncontrolled power and wealth. While it is the dutyofthe artist to work for what is true, good, andbeautiful, first we have to expose and fight what iswrong.In these times when most of the media hide thetruthfrom us, when most of what we get from themedia aresilly gossip and petty flesh and sensationalizedcrimes, we go to the streets to find out whatshappening. We listen to those artists who dare risktheir lives and livelihoods, who reiterate once morethe utmost duty of the artist --- that the artist is acommitted person, that he will always take theside ofaany human being who is violated, abused,oppressed,dehumanized whatever his instrument ---the pen,thebrush, or the camera."

- Lino Brocka Artist as Citizen

Herein-Within : my first attempt on cheezy chapters

2005-11-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I've found you..finally, in this cold city.
Living uncertainly for years, and now I'm alive again as if the first time.
Yes, I believe life can't be colorful without love. I have always believed in this.
And yet as much as my faith was, there remained a deeper longing.

***

Rather, a love far-reaching than just two souls
A union more moving than empty melodies

Calming me, with your sweet songs and your pure innocent heart
What do you know? But make me smile, and make me sing and dance.

Whether, you and me herein-within...
Such is my shelter in you, without fear.

A new, is friend, as all takes us in better form.
Bypass our past, and shadows gleam, for darkness has its way towards the light.
Ever wheeling my fortunes and delights.

End me. You steer me away from such melancholies.
Fancy you and me once more, herein-within, endlessly forever.

***

Carry me now, and swiftly...we'll reel our dreams.
For in your confidence I am safe.
In your love, eternally protected.

What light and strength have you whenever I'm dazed and unknown.
Thank you for letting me shine, for letting me soar and now,
light as a feather I feel free as your gentle wind blows me high....Serene and Lovely.

...

2005-11-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

id like to love u... like the truth that will not falter, like that instant moment of feeling beautiful. like id like to love u that way.

PRE-postmortem

2005-10-27T20:01:00.000+08:00

I had a 2 week project in Singapore as a writer / producer.

The 2 week project reinforced things I've already believed in.

It also carved new insights and ways of learning:

~That life is more than earning dough; that life is fuller with people
around; that relationships do come and go so quickly if you're not on
guard; that a little charm can make a big leap; that one destination
can extend to another; that the heart can be foolish as the mind can
be wise; that balance is essential; that there is a better way to lead
and that is to care for the people working for you; that a lot of
laughter make up for sleepless nights and "bathe-less" days; that
there is always someone up there to thank for all the blessings; that
amidst the busy schedule and fast paced life of this modern day, we
must not forget our spirits hungry to be nurtured…."for what good it
is if we gain the whole world but in the end lose our soul!"

B e a u t i f u l ~ C h a o s

2005-10-23T08:46:00.000+08:00

The past 2 weeks had been very full. I stop and realize how so much has happened in just 14 days... (gasp!) Now, I sit here at a time when I thought all the action would be all gone and over, but no...life never fails to amaze me.

I can't believe how stupid I can be to experience this feeling the 2nd time around. Guess what? I missed my plane again. stuck...stuck...stuck in this tiny red dot of the world map, yeah I'm stuck again in Singapore! (eyes shut. breathe.)

In retrospect, this time didn't feel as bad as the first. For one, I expected it coming early this morning when I got up late, clock ticking, pressure rushing and all the crap of this "late freak". Forgive me, but... it's just all too frustrating. One lesson I'm still trying to perfect is never repeating the same mistakes again. Argh! Lord help me.

~~~

Well, let's leave some room for consolation I suppose. I mean if you really come to think of it, the first time I was left by the plane, it was not because I was not prepared nor did I wake up late. Actually we checked in very early then. My friend and I were headed to Japan for an English contest, all expenses paid. Exciting huh?! But, when the plane was calling for its final boarding, my friend stopped and realized he left his suit, his "magic costume", a lucky charm to him I guess. So we hurriedly called his roomate who rushed as fast as he could (of course) to deliver the "magic suit". And to our shock... as we were inches and seconds away, the gate finally closed and they told us that they are removing our stuff from the plane. Wah! It was one of the days I could not forget, you know that feeling... as if your heart suddenly dropped. The thing with that first time was that all happened so quickly and it was just a matter of minutes or even seconds when our emotions whirled from excitement to dead shock.

On the other hand, right now, I admit I don't feel so stunned. I mean even while I was in the cab heading towards the airport I knew all too well: it would take a miracle for me to board that plane. And in essence, to the part of me I'm trying to remove, you "late freak": you deserve to be "punished". *hush hush* This is the end. I will do all it takes to break this. I aim to improve on this area, because it can certainly break me. Besides, it's not at all reflective of my faith in Him. Lord help me.

Time is truly gold... now I hafta shell out a few dollars from my pocket. It should have been free all along.

~~~

Yup, it was supposed to be free. I got a round trip ticket to and fro the "garden city" because I was contracted as a writer & producer of a corporate video. Our client was Masterbulk, a Norweigian company based in Singapore. It was a 2-week project that indeed, offered me lots of learnings and a relatively good pay. I was also able to go to Shanghai for 2 days, again all expenses paid. Everything happened so fast and for the first time I experienced having no regular sleep and staying in the office over night for 3 days. Well, it was a rushed project. And I decided to stay on because I wanted to observe, and learn and see what can be done, should have been done and it was all good and memorable to me. *I will leave room for the details in the next entry though, (deep breath. calm.)

I'm listening to this cd playing over and over again in this cafe and it sorta leaves a message of what I feel: I want to walk in fields of gold and bask in the bronze sunshine. I want to swim inside my colorful dreams. (deep breath. calm. beautiful.)

2005-09-19T23:05:00.000+08:00

Haha! Finally found the poem, I was telling you about:

exhibit A: crumpled torn page of a cutesy notebook
dated: 2003 May 01
content:

Grabeh ang buhay nakakatuwa.
Mga emosyong nakahiga sa duyan ng tadhana.
Ang daming kulay, paiba-iba ang ugoy.
Lumalakas ang kabog ng dibdig.

Kay bilis ng takbo. Umaga-gabi-tanghali.
Kanina. Ngayon. Kahapon. Ang noon at ang
hinaharap prang tubig sa ilog.
Malamig at kay bilis ng daloy.

Lilipas din ang iyong nararamdaman.
Sa oras din yan mawawala. Ngiti lang ang aking katapat.
Hay salamat.

Make it Happen!

2005-09-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to post this ironically profound-and-yet-funny-(funny to me)-Tagalog poem I wrote a couple of years back. It was interesting finding it again yesterday in one of my drawers. But, what do you know, it's once again nowhere to be found. Perhaps, another year of rediscovering would once and for all lay it out in the open.

And so, I'd like to continue this post with another topic altogether. Why not talk about the entrepreneurial spirit... Well, to explain this unusual urge, I just came from a panel discussion of sorts which attempted to determine, explain and describe where Singapore is at right now in terms of their collective entrepreneurship system/culture and I did agree with one of the comments from this Hong Kong local. He said that Singapore's system seems like a tight box where entrepreneurs are confined or trapped. With all the government support, or sometimes too much spoonfeeding e.g. financial assistance and the like, emerging businessmen tend to rely on subsidies and what not. Hence, considering that this "dependency culture" is rising, I believe it will be detremental for nurturing a globalized outlook for businessmen who tread upon foreign ground. Businessmen of this digital and globalized era cannot afford to shy away from the whole world of opportunities. It's all about risking, striving and working hard towards what you believe in, despite criticisms and jeers of unbelief.

Indeed, entrepreneurs are made and not born as some people say. But there is the crucial factor, the "entrepreneurial spirit", which is innate in every successful businesmaker. Whatever your profession may be, you may nurture this in-born gift. If you make things happen, if you're not afraid of risks, if you calculate your options and make wise decisions, if you ask a lot of questions, if you fight for the answers you believe in, if you propose solutions and opportunities to grow, if you dare make mistakes, and if you dare persevere in always bouncing back.... my, friend you have it and you will make it in the end.

Advice: Hold on to that dream and make it happen!

He who loved

2005-08-28T19:11:00.000+08:00

they were oblivious and indifferent.

but the one man who cared stood out.

the parti-E-s and the booze did not matter.

he did not need them to be filled.

well, he looked like a hippie from days ago:
sported long hair and a looooong beard.
He was different alright but not because of these but because...

He carried a joyful heart.

It was something unsual, something the cold world did not understand
...such a man in this modern times as this?
Yes, it was 2005, But....

marked by his sincere smile and sweet loving eyes,
this man gave continously. He cared without expecting a return.
He spoke gently and was not impressed by the common things.
While the world craved for power, money, pleasure and all things of the self,
this man was satisfied.

It was a love from Jesus, a love that never runs dry nor gets cold.
This is more than brotherly love but a divine love.
One that is never found in selfishness but rather in truth and peace.

Don't we long to follow Him like this man who stood out.
It's time to make a difference for GOD!
It is no accident that we were raised at such a time as this.
And LOVE... the only weapon the devil does not have and we can use it!

Pambihira

2005-07-27T16:50:00.000+08:00

A shame to have feared the impossible. Why one counts the days of doom and not regard that so-called bright side of life: the sunshine, the honey, the flowers and bees, and all those things yellow... Break free I say. What can the normal bring anyway but uniformity? It's damn okay to take the road less travelled and discover what has yet to come. Create the dream ourselves baby! No other beauty but in knowing that there's no such thing as impossible.

listening to:
nosuchthingbyjohnmayer

2005-07-23T14:43:00.000+08:00

jus before zouk with Henny, Tina & Ari!

love prophecy

2005-07-20T01:07:00.000+08:00

i wanna
look & look
and try and try
& never
know why
I wanna
stop...
& breathe & breathe
and sing and dance
'til I finally fly
I wanna
shout it out
& seek & find
a sweet and love divine!

2005-07-17T20:43:00.000+08:00

after church this morning,

one message struck through:

that we cannot lose what we cannot keep

we must work on what we can never lose:

to be in Him through all eternity

forever and beyond

As I Sleep...

2005-07-02T10:38:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of you once more,
in that secret place
where there is silence

And I question
this very vision
that works its way
back to me

For how long
will you deny me
of the truth
that you owe?

Gentle and deep
like the abyss in a desert
I walk alone once more
and wait for you

Come now
with the swift breeze
And catch this
precious solemn tear.

MY LOVE & MY FUTURE

2005-06-26T03:34:00.000+08:00

Below is a revelation of the ideal love, where God becomes the core and center of our relationships. A true and perfect love, that asks not but gives more than you can ever imagine; the condition being that you focus on Him, on Him alone.

With such radical devotion...then and only then can you find your true love. And yet if you have not found it, him or her, or perhaps it was not given unto you... you still feel whole, knowing full well that you are complete with His perfect & unconditional love.

Oh how I long to reach this point - where I can truly say that my heart has completely become His... & to Him alone.

This was written by St. Anthony of Padua.

I first read it from my cousin Risha's friendster & it hit me...

This is a dream I long to testify of one day.

here goes:

Be Satisfied With Me

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But to a Christian, God says, " No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone. Discovering that in only ME is your satisfaction to be found will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be completely united with another until you are completely united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else. Exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,,, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest thing. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Keep listening and learning the things I promise and mean. Be patient, that is all. Don't be anxious, dont worry. Don't look around at things others have or have gotten or that I have given to them.Don't look around at the things that you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever dream, You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready,I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time, until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you and want you to have, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me. And this is perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly.For I AM GOD. Believe it, and be satisfied."

My kind of Omelette

2005-06-17T12:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was craving for a healthy snack and I came up with this delicious omelette. I hope you can also try it.

Finely chop a handful of baby spinach leaves and parsely. Dice a slice of quickmelt cheese and crush half a clove of garlic. Mix them all.

Beat one egg in a small bowl and dash it with pepper.

Now, pour a little canola oil onto a regular sized fryiing pan & when it's hot pour the egg and let it cover the whole pan to form a perfect yellow circle. Put the mixture of leaves, cheese and garlic and spread them evenly.

When the egg is cooked and the cheese has melted, use to flat laddles and place the omellete onto a plate. Make sure to preserve the circular form of the egg.

Crack another egg and pour it onto the pan. This time do not beat the egg and just cook it "sunny side up". When it is well done, use your laddle and just cut it in strips. This will be the topping for the omellete.

Finally, pour spoonfuls of your favorite dressing. In my case, I chose to use a mix of tomato, basil & garlic which I found in a glass jar in our refrigerator. You may also use pesto with blended tomato and parmesan cheese.

Hope you like the recipe for today! til my next update. By the way I am down to 14 job applications. I'm still on the look out for great opportunities! Please pray for me.

Pam's Yesterday Today & Tomolo

2005-06-16T07:10:00.000+08:00

T O D A Y

It's 7am and I'm still down with a sore throat and dry cough. With the construction goin on opposite the condo, I don't know when I'd feel well again... thing is I'm allergic to dust and my body's still adjusting to the air here. I guess I've become so used to the clean & green of Singapore!

Anyway, I've recently signed a contract and I'm officially a freelance writer. The magazine is called Career Central and it targets youngsters in Singapore who are either undergraduates or fresh graduates like me. The deadline of my first article would be on June 22 and it will be published (if chosen) in the August issue. I could not say the topic now because I think I'm not allowed to do so. But I will let you know if it comes out. *wink*

Meanwhile, I've set today as my job hunting day. Finally, I have decided to focus and apply for jobs.

T O M O R R O W

From today onwards I will see to it that I send my resume to at least 5 companies that I like. My prayer is that God will lead me to a job that will be fulfilling; that is relatively not too stressful; that will allow me to shine for His glory!

Y E S T E R D A Y

For the past few days I put aside my job hunt to rest for a while. I mean, the comforts of home is very tempting you see. But I couldn't go on like that. For instance, yesterday I spent the whole day helping Ya Shirley clean the house. I didn't realize that such a small and new space could cost us a whole day. Well, I can be very meticulous I guess.

But then again, what really took my time was cooking. I love cooking because even when I was young my mom enrolled me to several cooking lessons and I found it fun. Now, thanks to that, I am not afraid to experiment and do my own dishes. Yesterday was one perfect cooking day for me because when my parents and brothers came home, we sat together for dinner and everything I cooked was wiped out from their plates into their hungry bellies. It feels really good when they appreciate your cooking. Even without saying it I know they did!Below you'll find the menu I cooked. Try it!

Starters

#1 Salad ala Pam

baby Spinach leaves washed and dried
Mint leaves
fresh Parsley
diced mangoes
thinly sliced cucumber
thinly sliced green/red bell pepper,

dressing:

regular sized natural low fat yoghurt
1 clove garlic crushed evenly
sugar substitute, splenda
lots of crushed pepper
egg yolk
native vinegar
(you can also add a bit of flour
to make sauce thicker,
adjust seasoning to taste)

Entree

#2 Beef & Mushroom

Beef cubes boiled 'til tender (it took me an hour)
Mushroom in can, sliced thinly
1 pack of knorr mushroom soup
knorr seasoning

transfer all the beef cubes to a sauce pan and add half of the beef stock. (the remaining half can be used to prepare beef & onion soup for another day). In another pan prepare the mushroom soup by adding it in boiling water and stirring it until smooth. Add the mixture to the saucepan where the beef cubes are, stir it and add the sliced mushroom. Splash knorr seasoning afterwards and add some flour to make sauce thick.

Dessert

#3 Bananarama

Slice the banana into 3 and grill it. What's not so common about this is that I didn't put any sugar at all. My mom even asked if I did. I thought that the natural sweetness of the banana should not be covered with sugar. You'll be surprised how good it is. Next time you can also brush melted margarine or butter to the banana. Remember to use Canola butter, more healthy!

-30-

~ Dreams Do Come True ~

2005-05-31T00:09:00.000+08:00

I just finished watching the wedding of Survivor's stars ( & Amazing Race's duo), Rob and Amber... A dream come true indeed... (how I'd love to be in Amber's shoes: finding her perfect match and having her dream wedding come true! It's amazing!) Although, it was pretty obvious how stressful the preparations were because of their tight schedule, I think it was all worth it for the couple.

Behind the glitz and glam, no one can deny that Rob and Amber love each other so much... I got teary eyed watching them surprise each other and say their vows (especially Rob). It's so heart warming seeing two people in love. You just can't help but hope they'd grow old together and live faithful to each other forever and ever and ever... Deep down in my heart I also long for something like that: to one day wed the guy of my dreams and love him and our children for as long as I live... with God in the center of our relationship... That's when my fairytale begins...

Goin back to Rob and Amber...even if Rob plays the "tough-never-mess-with-me-I'll-mess-with-you-first" kind of guy, I really believe he has a soft heart... he's a true romantic, as Amber says. They fit their own puzzle perfectly. Besides, both of them are definitely irreplacable to the other, considering the unique experiences they've had together as a team, the places and the challenges they've been through in all those places, from Panama and to the rest of the world!

Now that these reality-tv babes are moving on as husband and wife, let's just wait and see their next move on the spotlight. Another game to play on tv? Or babies on the way? Who knows?! Watching Rob and Amber made me realize how exciting and unexpectable life can really be. You'll never know when you'll earn your first million or find your one true love! Life...you just have to live it. Make some right decisions along the way. Get up and never give up. Then you'll just be surprised that one day you've finally arrived and it can only get better!
May all our dreams come true!

Love,

P a M

Peace be With You?

2005-05-29T22:05:00.000+08:00

I'm on my way to Ikea to meet my high school friend, Brezy and I'm thinking that there's only 4 days to go and I'm leaving for home. Finally! P e a c e...

But come to think of it p e a c e is not a matter of place but more a case of the heart.

Whenever priests end the mass saying "P e a c e be WITH you!", I often think to myself that he should be saying "P e a c e be IN you!" instead.

P E A C E is something innate, one carries it everywhere... and its home becomes our hearts!

"P E A C E BE IN YOU MY FRIENDS!"

P a M

The Most Profound & Absolute Truth

2005-05-29T01:50:00.001+08:00

The most profound and absolute truth I will ever know in my heart is this.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
( Romans 8:38-39 )
P a M

As I search some old files, I find...

2005-05-23T16:38:00.000+08:00

I've been scanning my emails lately, wondering which files to erase. I guess I can be very sentimental and actually don't like deleting files. But then again, I'm graduating soon, a new life, a time to scrap the old and look forward to better things to come. Below is something I've written eons ago, a file created on Sept. 2, 2003 at 5:55pm. --->

singapore skyline: a view from the esplanade

Amongst the wide array of food here, I've adapted to certain tastes, a handful I call my favorites. Mee Siam is one dish that eats into my Singapore life: a harmonious blend of spices, and sweet and sour delights.

A dash of sourness, lemon or lime, dishes out that distinct Mee Siam taste.

My life here is not free from such neutralizers. There are times when my Hello card stacks up my table while our phone back home rings a thousand times a day. It's horrible when you feel lonely and stressed about certain things. It’s normal to feel that way wherever you are. What matters most is never giving up, overcoming the situation and always depending on God every step of the way.

Regularly I reflect by the Nanyang Lake and there's no denying I get sentimental thinking about God's wonderful creation, which transcends mere landscapes of flowers and trees. Here friendships also blossom, and laughter keeps me grounded in places of "firsts".

Me, my big mouth and hands free cell phones: the first time I chit-chatted with a cab driver…he was not actually talking to me. The first day of my waitressing stint was also such a gag. Imagine being plunged into the dining area overflowing with people without training. My one time big time attempt to surf was also a bag of laughter because I remained stationary, and no sailing took place.

Eventually I learned to pull the strings and certain “firsts” were better handled: playing bridge, watching the world cup soccer fever with friends non-stop, eating chilli, making my first-ever video, strumming the guitar to Steven Speaks’ Passenger Seat, and organizing birthday surprises for friends.

Around here, they never fail to spice up each serving.

Adventures are around each corner of this garden city. I’ve come from witnessing two old men fight in the MRT (something I missed in the Philippines) to walking in the dark near flying bats and pioneering prayer-walks around campus to starting a sushi day with free manicure sessions for those under exam stress.

I often satisfy my sweet tooth, these are my honey moments.

For two years now, Singapore has been my second home where sweet memories are incessantly etched. One of my birthdays here was celebrated Singapore style: bubbles, sparklers, a Happy Birthday song in Chinese, a cake with my edible photograph, and a sumptuous dinner plus two original CDs of my fave Janet Jackson from close friends…People pass by from all over the world and I feel I’m studying in an international school as I’ve had classmates and professors from China, Taiwan, Korea, Japan, Britain, Canada, America, Australia, etc… I also hold dear dance performances I’ve had with the university’s dance troupe. Hip hop moves I learned colored our first-ever participation in the international student’s week as Filipinos got down with Gary V’s Shout for Joy… Ultimately unforgettable was being meters away from Singapore’s hero, Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew in a Q&A session with students…I was also able to visit Japan for free by simply assisting a friend in an English contest held there …Amidst it all, it still boils down to one thing: sweet memories are friends close to heart. Being with dear people make playing volleyball, swimming in Sentosa, biking, karaoke, kayaking, or plain eating at Mc Donald’s a wonderful time.

These extraordinary experiences often make me feel as though I live inside a beautiful painting, the matrix of moviehouses, a simulacrum of some sort. Dried leaves here literally fall like rain, reminding me of the serenity of my campus. Amidst the chatters of birds, the fire trees and the occasional rainshowers and my country style dormitory, studying becomes easier especially for nature lovers like me.

What’s bad is I seem to grow fatter each day. Could it be the mee siam or the unbalanced diet from juggling food varieties as I go back and forth from Manila to Singapore at least twice a year? In any case, I am looking forward for more sweet and sour treats and spices of the Singapore life.

-30-

new pix

2005-05-18T01:14:00.000+08:00

My friend, Trish came for a one week visit.
Below are some pix of our escapades heehee! :

Trish@sg #1

Trish@sg #2

Trish@sg #3

gals & guy(s) @ Chinatown:
pamcakes, angelo, trish, tita ena, and nanay Luisa!

Summer's sizzling & the temporary move to the condo @ Fort Boni is just timely!
I'd love to spend time with them there!
1st week of June is my much-awaited Manila Comeback! So..stay tuned! *grin*

condo corner #1

condo corner #2

My lil corner waiting to be "pammed"!
Those sleepyheads are my bros. Cant wait 2go home!

Dream Puffs

2005-05-15T20:03:00.000+08:00

In the shelter of his lovely wings
I glide and dream away.

Behind those tender clouds of gentleness
He whispers.

A picture of a future -
so distant and yet so near!

I am cradled back and forth,
these are my memories...

of what is.
of what has been.
and of what will forever be.

I cry & dream away.

~For yall Animation Lovers~

2005-05-09T00:51:00.000+08:00

Here's "Imagereel 2005"!

If you're in Singapore on April 14 & 15 please drop by the Youth Park! God is good and I was chosen to be one of the emcees for this 2-day event. I was willing to do it without remuneration but God, my faithful provider gave me a bonus anyhow.*I think he knew really need some dough to survive* So...I'm getting some moolah for this job! yay! Thank you Lord for all the blessings!

For more details on this national event go to

http://www.ntu-siggraph.com/imagereel

kanlungan

2005-05-03T15:32:00.000+08:00

"Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon? ...."

Ang sarap balikan ang nakaraan.
Itama ang mali.
At siguro'y ...
Harapin ang nakalipas na mga takot.

Ang layo na ng narating nating lahat
Iba't ibang alaala. Makulay: malungkot at masaya.
Ewan ko ba. Basta nakakalungkot isipin ang nakaraan.
Sobrang daming alaalang nasa puso ko.

~ A Chillin' Giveaway ~

2005-04-28T18:20:00.000+08:00

What a cool cool coooooooooool day! It's raining now and the sky is clear & grayish blue. The gentle breeze reminds me of a lovely stroll in the beach. Apart from the occasional roars of thunder (which jolts me off my seat), I like the weather! It's a wonderful & cool afternoon.

But what's really cool is the "gift" I received today. I say "gift" (take note: quote. unqoute.) because it wasn't exactly a gift-gift. I mean I don't really know the person from which my "gift" actually came from. I'm sure I've bumped into her once or twice because we live in the same floor. But other than that her face is a blurry image in my memory, or come to think of it, I have no memory of her at all, zero. nada. zilch.

But thanks to her I have a new refrigerator in my room, FOR FREE! How did it happen?

Well, my boyfriend came to visit me in my room early this morning and he told me that 2 doors away are some freebies: a mini fridge and an IKEA lamp. Of course he knew this because apparently the owner just left the stuff by the hallway... sticking a post-it note to both items ----> "Free. Take it if u wan" the note said.

So there, I guess you know by now what happened. Well, I believe in the saying, "Don't let opportunities pass you by". Grab them! *grin*

p.s. On top of this "chillin' giveaway" I'm so blest because when I asked the hall office on how much I'd have to pay for the extra electricity. They said I don't have to pay anymore because the previous owner has paid for it already. It's just that she's moving out early.

Thank you Lord for my free fridge! I can cook & eat all I want now! Yahoo!

(I just came from the supermarket & brought back tomatoes, lettuce, cucumber, calamansi, parsley, cheese, garlic, onions, and some muffins. They're now all stuffed in my new ref *big proud grin*)

~ Nostalgia in the Air ~

2005-04-27T21:41:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling a li'l nostalgic as I write. I guess it's mainly because my parents and my little bro went home already. My whole family went here last April 19. But JB and Mike, my two younger bros left earlier because of school. Today, after my oral defense, I brought Dad, Mom and Teo to the airport. I miss them now. It's really good to have family around. Although sometimes you can get into their nerves and they can also get into yours, family still sticks around (like glue)! It's the place where you can just be yourself, with all your imperfections and flaws, but still be loved anyway.

Thanks for the time you spent with me guys! I hope we could all be together! Perhaps, I can work in Manila or maybe you guys can transfer to Singapore. Well, let's see what comes... He'll lead us.

Thank you so much also Tita Ena for acommodating my family. Really thanks for your love, you're like a big sis to me.

Thank you also Nanay Flory and Dr. Maslog for our one night stay and merienda! Salamat sa pagaaruga!

~~~
For today two things basically amused me, small things perhaps, but they mattered much to me anyway.

One was the fact that my parents and Teo were able to watch my presentation and oral defense.

I thought they wouldn't be allowed inside the room but my supervisor Dr. Banerjee was kind and also acommodating! So there I was, presentating not only to my professors but to my family as well! I thought it'd feel pretty weird having family inside. I was afraid I'd suddenly remember a family joke or a family memory and end up bursting into laughter in the middle of the question and answer... or Matthew would go around prancing inside the room. But of course none of those things happened and Praise God everything went smoothly with God's grace and mercy.

Anyway, the second amusing memory I have of today, was how we gave our goodbyes in the airport. After a short meal, some picture-taking and a quick trip to the grocery we all gave our normal kisses, hugs, "manos" and goodbyes.

So there behind the glass wall, were me and Angelo. As they were queing up, we were incessantly waving at each other. Me, mom, Teo, Angelo and dad! And then after the short pause as they had their documents checked by the immigration officer, it was another series of continuous waves of goodbyes. It was the longest "waving" session I had. What stuck to me up until now is how my brother Teo, clang to me with a tight hug before they left saying so sweetly, "I'll miss you ate!". He was also the one most eager to give his goodbyes, waving teary eyed at me and Angelo. I'll surely miss my eight year old bro! Miss you Teo poy poloy.... *grin*

~~~ still feeling nostalgic ~~~

~ updates ~

2005-04-26T22:06:00.000+08:00

I'm having my oral defense tomorrow April 27, 9:45am to 10:30am Philippine time. Please pray for me. Salamat!

~ latest on meee ~

2005-04-16T19:51:00.002+08:00

I'm finally down to my last paper (exam), as in THE last paper of my entire school life (well, that's if I won't take any masters courses). But for now, it really feels like such a release ... it's like I'm actually looking forward to THE day...this coming Tuesday! It's like THE end of it all...or should I say, the beginning of just about anything fo'me!

Anywayz, I feel like I'm this tiny fish coming out from the river and finally entering the big ocean. I donch know where to go though. You know the feeling when you just got a whole set of clothes in your closet and you're not too sure what to wear for that special evening....that's sorta what I actually feel. 'like there's a lot ahead of me, another new chapter in my book of life. But again, as I all too often find myself whenever caught up in crossroads like these, I'm just all the more confused.

They say "you just gotta be at the right place at the right time". The question is, how will i ever know it's THE RIGHT place & THE RIGHT time, unless i'm actually there, experiencing it! Hmph! The only thing that assures me is the fact that God won't let me down & that He has a plan for me. I just need to continously pray I be led by the Spirit...that if it's not God's will He'll put a hindrance upon it & if it's His best for me, everything will just flow smoothly!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm actually suffering from stiff neck as I write. It's really uncomfortable & irritating especially when someone yells at me from behind. I mean I have to turn my entire upper torso just to get a view of the person. Isn't that awkward and weird. Getting up from bed is equally taxing, it feels like my neck's being torn apart by something I can't see or like there's this giant tong, just putting on pressure on both sides of my neck and pulling my neck apart from my body.

But of course no one's to blame but myself. I was reading this book and rewriting my messy notes lying chest down with my back curled up in an awkward and (only now i know) neck "breaking" position. And the stiff neck's been here for 2 whole days now.

Well, I'm just hoping that by Tuesday,on that last paper I'm having, I wouldn't have to deal with Mr. Neck breaker anymore. As for now I'm coping...my dad just logged in yahoo messenger & gotta go and chat with him first! It's really nice now that they have the webcam, i check on them almost everynight.

Oh well, that's it for today! Have a good day!

Inquirer Online Feature...

2005-04-09T23:14:00.000+08:00

Was surprised yesterday when I saw my pic in inquirer online...

It's been passed two months na kasi since I answered the interview questions. I guess there's really a lot of "blogger addicts" out there huh?! But thanks Joey! Check out the feature!

http://www.you.inq7.net/

"Love Me If You Dare" it's not what you think it is...

2005-04-08T22:00:00.000+08:00

Just recently we had dinner with Tita Ena and on the way back home, we had a bit of talk about Spanish and French films. Apparently, she was also into art films. I guess it's just very different when you watch these movies because they're not only a series of images with a simple narrative but they go deeper into your soul...or am I just being too dramatic about it?!

Well if you come to think of it, it's really true. I mean, these art films are very different from those Hollywood flicks you'd normally get, too commercialized, fancy and removed from the depth and realities of life.

What you'd get in art fims though are, well, art: the poetry in the script comes off as very natural, as if it wasn't there but hits you all the more anyway. Sometimes though the editing comes in the way, like it just makes u dizzy. Too much effort to be unlike Hollywood, I guess. But some, well most, pull it off very successfully.

I especially like "love me if you dare". That's one French film I love and am still counting. Last year, I came accross "Spanish Apartment" and it was also good.

The thing about these films, is that it gets you involved in a way and... I really like that. *grin*

I'M a ChIcKeN SuPrEmE PizZa!?

2005-04-07T19:13:00.001+08:00

All I know is that I love Hawaian delights. I'm a pineapple fan actually when it comes to pizzas. But my number one pizza store has been and will always be Magoo's Pizza, Shakey's next for their Friday Special and Pizza Hut, well, for their Hawaiaan Delight!

Other than that all I can say is...if you've got a sweet tooth, I've got a sour one. I put calamansi (lime) on just about anything except pizzas (and whole lot more). I've been drinking lotsa ginger-honey with calamansi almost daily. My mom gave me this bottle of powdered ginger which I've ignored for a year until 2 months ago when I discovered it's magic. It's really quite refreshing, you should try it!...I like calamansi in corned beef,calamansi in fish sauce, bagoong balayan with calamansi and hot rice, fresh calamansi and fresh tomatoes in my sinigang or tom yam, and some more on my Vietnamese spring rolls. Gosh! I'm craving for those fresh spring rolls again.

Anyway, below is the result from the survey I just did. I was actually trying my luck on this Pizza Hut memory game which would supposedly win me an S$80 voucher from Pizza Hut, until I found out after a thousand attempts to beat the highest records that the contest was only until March 31. Whew! Nice try there...

Well, Am no chicken... haha! Well, whatever, they say.

You are a Chicken Supreme Pizza!

Be it spicy, roasted or ham, you love them all!

Just like your attitude towards friends,

you accept and love your friends for who they are.

You are also faithful to your family and friends;

someone who can be trusted and depended on.

One bite into this pizza and you'll love it for life!

Which type of Supreme Pizza are you?

Brought to you by Pizza Hut

On a Sunday Eve, I write

2005-04-03T21:49:00.001+08:00

These past few days God was impressing in me words like forgiveness, peace and faith. I guess I often struggled with the very nature of humanity...pride... the cause of all evil. Yup! I'm a proud li'l fella! or should I say I was, or I'm trying not to be.

Well, I've learnt to harden my heart and "protect it" so to speak after I've realized in different points of my life that there are mean people out there, people you can't trust and people who'll talk falsely about you, as if they know all too well the real score and struggles of your life. Those were the times and the people I dread.

But then again, if you really think and reflect on it, there's too much to lose when you get all caught up in these stuff: hang ups, unforgiveness, anger or bitterness... too much when you can't let go of that natural but sinful instict. Call it pride or selfishness?! They're all but the same. The joy it can suck out of you & the pain it may cause you... True, the devil wants to kill, steal and destroy. Should I let him? Should you let Him? Oh no! No! No! Not anymore.... It's time to stomp your feet and put on the armor!

My Lord has proven faithful, merciful and gracious to me all the way! And though I couldn't ever measure up to His Love, He has never left me, nor forsaken me.

Jeremiah 29:11 says:

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord,

plans to Prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future. "

I just want to thank God for the bright future ahead of me. Although I feel I'm in such trying times right now, I know that this is just a phase. It's the part when the mastercrafstman melts the gold in super-heated liquid, pound it and hammer it

... before he shapes it into a beautiful masterpiece.

May I pass the divine test of faith. (Lord help me!)

forgive & forget.

peace be with you!

Haaaaay.......

2005-04-02T00:19:00.000+08:00

" I just want to sleep but cannot sleep!"

2005-03-25T18:55:00.000+08:00

la lang.....

Merit Prize Award from IBM

2005-03-18T10:46:00.000+08:00

First of all I want to thank the good Lord for his continuous blessings to me. His faithfulness is unfailling inspite of all my sins and shortcomings...

This is a long overdue blog about the results of the contest we joined. The conference was held last Feb. 21 at Raffles Hotel Singapore. Below is a letter I sent to Ms. Sharen Liu, head of my school's Electronic Broadcasting Division, who was there cheering us and requested I email her some details about the contest.

(see pictures at www.pamcake.multiply.com)
________________________________

Good day!

Thank you for your support especially for cheering for us this afternoon at the IBM Women's Conference. We are flattered by your enthusiasm and appreciation of our work. Below are the details you requested:

We were presented with a Merit Prize for IBM Women's Conference Student Contest & our team was awarded with S$600.

In their congratulatory letter to us they said, "Our judges were impressed with your display of passion and creativity in interpreting the theme 'Leading Fulfilling Lives - Perspectives from the Young".

During the initial judging last Feb. 14 we actually presented them with an opening blacklight dance interpretation of the song 'Heal The world' and then we showed our main video featuring Eunice Olsen, Singapore Ms. Universe 2000 & Nominated Member of Parliament and Luisa Tayco, a domestic helper and founder of the welfare organization called Pinokyos. For our finale we showed voxpops showcasing NTU students of different nationalities and their personal definitions of leading fulfilling lives.

For the actual presentation at the Raffles Hotel, however due to time constraints, we were asked to simply feature our main video, the highlight of our presentation.

Overall, it was a fruitful experience because we were able to meet inspiring people who made us realize the deeper meaning of living. Again, thanks for your support and God bless you!

Sincerely,

Pamela Cristine A. Almeda, 4th year student
my partner, Sri Ranjini Mei Hua, 1st year student

Really love this song...

2005-03-11T21:52:00.001+08:00

THE FIRST TIME I LOVED FOREVER

~ Lisa Angelle ~

Award winning song written
for the TV series
‘BEAUTY AND THE BEAST’

INTRO:

Somewhere I have never traveled,

gladly beyond any experience

Your eyes have their silence

In your most frail gestures

are things which enclose me

For which I cannot touch

because they are too near

The first time I loved forever

Was when you whispered my name

And I knew at once you loved me

For the me of who I am

The first time I loved forever

I cast all else aside

And I bid my heart to follow

Be there no more need to hide

REFRAIN:

And if wishes and dreams

Are merely for children

And if love's a tale for fools

I'll live the dream with you

Oh, if your wish be to close me

I and my life will shut very beautifully

Suddenly as when the heart

of this flower imagines the snow

Carefully everywhere descending

For all my life and forever

There's a truth I will always know

When my world divides and shatters

Your love is where I'll go

~ I do not know what is it about you that closes and opens
Only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses
Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands ~

Passion

2005-03-09T19:07:00.000+08:00

Everything that you do from your heart will definitely prosper. Well, that's what I believe. I've seen it happen in my life anyway. A big example is my one big shot for a scholarship here in Singapore. It's been almost four years and looking back I realize how much I've invested, how much thought I've put in. I've put all my heart and mind into working on the goal - to study here in Singapore for free and with allowance. hah! It's good that all the hardwork paid off in the end.

I guess, I didn't want to burden my parents to support me financially especially after the many shifts in courses I've been through. I didn't know myself back then and was constantly pursuing the most philosophical question, "who am I?" It's funny how until now I still feel there's much more to discover not only about myself but about the rest of the world.

Exploration... Identity... Passion...

Life.

I was reminded of this very profound word, "passion", once again after a short chat I had with my roomie Shaz last night. We talked about the scary possibility of how people, having lost their passion and zeal for life, change for the worse.

There are times I admit that I feel I've lost that fire, as if suddenly things have become black and white in an instant... evertything so dry. But I'd like to believe that amidst the desert there's an oasis to look forward to. One can always rekindle the passion and ignite the fire and that elusive zeal will come back slowly. Sometimes you gotta work on it, keeping your chin up and sometimes, when your lucky, it just comes by, oh so naturally.

I'd like to live life to the fullest, in both the dry and the flourishing of seasons because in both ends is a place where wisdom of the heart & knowledge of the mind is nourished.

ACTION

2005-03-05T01:39:00.000+08:00

What a waste of time seeing people

Going around his or her business

As if the world will just go on

Like that forever...

What joy can there be if one cannot reach

Nor touch the heart of the other...

What sincerity is there in saying you're there to help

But never really make the message felt...

The Bible says it best,

indeed "faith without action is dead"!

My One & Only Lola Cely

2005-02-16T09:08:00.000+08:00

My everdearest grammy,

Lola Cely passed away.

She was pronounced dead at 9:45am

last Saturday February 5, 2004.

With a heavy heart

I decided to let her go.

My last conversation with Lola

was the day before she died.

It was absolutely a gloomy Thursday for me

when I learned of her critical condition.

Immediately, I called my mom on her handphone

to talk with Lola.

Lola was lying in the hospital then,

unable to speak. My mom told me

that the last sense to be lost

before a person dies

was that of hearing.

So I talked with Lola Cely

and told her that I love her

and how I wished she could visit me

in Singapore sometime soon.

That moment, as I described in my last entry,

felt like a sudden pause in my life.

My heart seemed to stop for an instant there,

"as if a heart could ever put up a poker face".

I felt I was inside an empty picture.

Everthing seemed all blank; everything became unnecessary

and unimportant that all I could think of

was my longing to be beside Lola

even for the last minutes of her life.

I wanted to go home and see her

even for the very last time.

And so I did. But it was too late

because Lola passed away

even before I could get hold of my airline ticket

bound from Singapore to Manila.

I arrived the day after grammy died,

it was the 6th of Feb. My brothers, JB & Mike,

picked me up at the airport and we headed straight

to Holy Trinity where Lola's wake was held.

When I arrived at the wake I did not want to look

into Lola's coffin. Although I decided to let her go,

I never really accepted in my heart that she was gone

for good. It was as if she was just there, just away

for a vacation or something. But a few seconds after I entered the room as I glanced at the gold and shiny coffin; and one of the visitors asked me a question

(I cannot even recall what);

it sank into me suddenly that my one and only Lola Cely

will be gone for good this time. And so I dashed out of the room and I cried, trying to relieve my longing

and give out a li'l space for my heavy heart.

Then, I realized how Lola has just been released from her physical suffering with diabetes, acquired pneumonia, and other complications that overpowered her. I was gladenned by the thought that finally, my favorite grandmother could be with the Lord, that she could rest and be at peace.

With a much lighter heart I finally let her go.

We watched over Lola until the morning of Feb 10, Thursday - the day she was buried at Loyola Memorial, Sucat.

~~~ Lola Cely ~~~

was the best grandmother I ever had. She was kind, generous and always optimistic, always ready to lend her heart to someone in need.

My inspiration. My friend. My one and only Lola Cely.

My fondest memories of her are when the three of us

(Lola Cely, Mommy Sylvia, and I) would bond

over a meal at home or in some resto and

we would just talk about our everyday struggles

(especially mom and me) and always I found

some sense of inspiration in Lola. I also remember

the times I drag Lola to this and that activity

and she would in turn drag me to watch her long-awaited Tagalog films. I miss those movies Lola...

I remember the two of us discussing together

about life and love. Lola would always listen to me

and share her thoughts and wisdom.

There are a lot of memories with lola especially since she lived in our house for the last 5 years, day in day out.

I will always remember lola

and she will be in my heart for as long as I live.

We love you Inay Cely!

~~~

Lola!

2005-02-04T02:06:00.000+08:00

Mom and dad messaged me saying she's in critical condition.

My heart sunk...

As if a heart could ever put up a poker face,

such was the feeling...

Of not knowing what to know or what to feel.

I dread this moment.

I did not want her to see me like this.

I wanted her to see me up there on stage.

She promised to be here for my graduation,

that's only 2 to 3 months to go.

Again, I'm in a trance, missing my grandma

the closest one I ever had.

My special witness to the journey I alone took.

I'll miss her for sure. forever.

Such is the feeling of being left behind, if ever I must add.

Unprepared so to speak but ready...

Ready for whatever is His will.

After a prayer between my loving Father and me.

I surrender, hoping not to hold back

Praying for a miracle, one that will glorify His name once more.

I miss her.

I hope I can hear her voice tomorrow.

2005-02-01T01:00:00.000+08:00

Please support www.ofw-tv.com!

It's Angelo with the cam.

Felimon Sanchez of Photonski took the shot.

Angelo & I made the layout for the ad.

Like it or not? Tell us how to improve it puhleaz!

2005-01-31T23:57:00.000+08:00

International Cultural Food Fest @ NTU. It's the Philippine National Dance! "Tinikling", a bamboo dance which interprets the swift movements of birds. See me in that red Balintawak with my partner, Michael. Angelo at the rightmost on the stix.

Picture taken by Angelo using Pum's Nikon D70 SLR. My cheeks so full! Ho-hum!

To all Filipinos in Singapore!

2005-01-25T01:43:00.000+08:00

Which Moxie Are You?

2005-01-09T23:16:00.000+08:00

Moxie Choc-full's

Up to the brim

...

Heart-sick.

Hurt throbs.

Monstro jinx.

Moxie Roxy

grants her a gift

...

Hearty party.

Honeylovey.

Spunky mix.

~ 30 ~

Magic Realism

2005-01-08T02:02:00.000+08:00

~~~~~ Jan 8: ~~~~~

I'm currently reading the book, "One Hundred Years Of Solitude"... The book reminds me a lot about Burton's movie, "Big Fish". Fantasy-&-reality-intertwined is such a cool concept. Magical and supernatural things & events are taken with such cool nonchalance as the ordinary is presented with such awe and wonder. Most often than not it's the latter that brings out the humor especially in the book One Hundred Years... Anyway, I really think that Marquez is a genius in being one of the primemovers of magic realism. This genre is, indeed, an effective literary style in terms of bringing out the universality of any topic, be it historical or political. Well, I speak for myself here, what do you think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just a thought: I want to be TinkerBell

(well the Julia Roberts version)

The Happiest People of the World (part 2)

2005-01-05T01:52:00.000+08:00

Although I haven't confirmed the credibility of this li'l trivia below, I think it's still worth noting. Chanced upon it 5 mins. ago from this site: http://www.txtmania.com/trivia/filipinos.php

Read on!

"Despite the many problems hounding the Philippines, Filipinos still consider themselves as among the happiest people in the world. Results of regional surveys conducted by MTV-Asia, ACNielsen and the Economist magazine have indicated that Filipinos are the happiest people in Asia.

But in the World Values Survey conducted by University of Michigan in 1998, the Philippines was ranked 12th among 54 countries in the world in terms of happiness index. Among Asian countries, it was ranked first. According to the survey, the top ten happiest nations in the world were Iceland, Sweden, the Netherlands, Denmark, Australia, Ireland, Switzerland, Great Britain and Venezuela."

To My Best Sistah!

2005-01-03T01:20:00.000+08:00

Hi Les, here's my response to the advice you were asking me... For now I guess it is still the same old line that I've said many many times over... but it's still good to reflect upon it! "Guard your heart Les for it is the wellspring of your life!"

Yup! I just think that risking your heart is something very crucial, you may either end up being a grouch if the heart is unjustly broken or you may end up fulfilling your life long dream... Only God knows!

Nevertheless you have freedom to make decisions and carve out your path. In this case it is always good to be wise (not in a "magulang" kind of sense) but I guess in terms of guarding your heart and keeping it safe until God gives you the go signal that... "this is it" or "it is time to give your heart to this special someone I've prepared for you". If only I could turn back time Les, I would have waited for God's "go" before I ever gave up my heart to my very first "love". But you have a chance to choose... & all I can say is you have the power to make it right.

In my experiences Les, you know that I have made some wrong decisions here and there and as far as I'm concern I think it's all because I lacked that sensitivity to the Holy Spirit's prompting.

So for now, my wish for both of us is "to live each day deeper in prayer like we've never ever experienced before". Besides Les, with all the things happening around us, e.g. Asia's tsunamis, earthquakes & epidemics, other things may seem so secondary right?

Consider this: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God & all these things shall be added unto you".

It's been said over and over again in church services but if we really try to reflect on this powerful verse, we will know in our hearts that God will take care of our concerns but we have to seek Him first with all our heart, mind, soul and spirit!

It's so intense don't you think Les? Imagine how you will seek God with your whole being... with your whole heart, mind and soul... It's more than an emotional experience, more than the "kilig" moments whenever we see our crushes...

I want to experience that again because I seem to be drifting away from Him and being preoccupied with other things, I've been guilty of crowding Jesus out of my activities, legit. as they may be. But my prayer Les, for you and for me is that for this year and the years to come we will, hopefully experience God's beauty and make Him our first love! The number one in our hearts! Love you Les!

~Pam~

Get Real & Get It On for "Two Oh Oh Fives"!

2005-01-02T01:10:00.000+08:00

Pamcakes in Singapore...

Two thousand five. Another year. Another season. Another 364 days to go.

I'm down to the first day of this year, passed an hour more and 10 minutes or so...

Will this year be totally different from the previous years? 23 years and I'm still counting...

I'm not sure what's so special about this year or every year for that matter.

I don't know why but I just have this lonely feeling right at this moment.

A big part of it is because yesterday was so quiet and rainy and just downright different from how things are in the Philippines when January 1 strikes...

Fact #1 Celebrations for the Chinese New Year are grander around here (as in the Lunar calendar's new year) ....so yesterday wasn't that much of a deal.

So here goes the top 5 "Hmph List" for my New Year:

Major turnoff

#1) No deafening fireworks to scare me and the bad spirits away! Not even one!

#2) No polluted air to turn all those big flat noses to black (hehe!)

#3) No family to share media noche with and eat all those 12 rounded fruits.

#4) No more jumpin' up & down in that desperate hope of gettin' added inches

#5) No overflowing inbox of happy cheers & greetings for the new year!

But of course, I also want to count my blessings! Top 5 in my "Happy Counter":

Happee Mee

#1) Dad bought a webcam yesterday & ' was able to see all 5 of them for New Year

#2) My ever sweet Li'l bro Mateo drew me a picture with hearts & butterflies!

#3) Leslie, my best sistah finally installed her webcam & I saw her too!

#4) Angelo, my mahal, & I cooked seafood pasta & shrimps! We had a happy dinner.

#5) Finally watched my first movie of the year "Meet the Fockers"! oh and....

#5b) I altered my new pants on my own, Thanks to home economics class!

Our Li'l "New Year Celeb for 2005"

Tnx for bearing with the wobbly pic up there. Hope it don't daze u much! heee!

Well, so life goes on and as a tribute to *2005* I'd like to share my friend's entry. I think it's a good one to inspire us to just "Go for It" for this coming year! And since I love dancing, what best title could there be but....

Dance Like No One's Watching

by Nat Casuela

(thanks for this one Nat saved me one entry hahah! Really inspiring! Let's all JUST GET REAL! ... and dance the night away! )

We all manage to convince ourselves to procrastinate the good things in life and delay happiness...
...until the morning.
...until the next paycheck.
...until we finish school.
...until we get to work.
...until we get settled down and married.
...until we have kids.
...until the kids grow up.
...until they get married.
...until we retire.
...blah blah blah blah blah blah.

But why don't we ever realize that although there is a time for everything, what better time is there than now?

Grab each moment and seize every opportunity...
Watch the sun rise or watch it set.
Count the stars.
Climb a mountain.
Dive from a cliff.
Ride a go-cart or a hot air balloon.
Hold hands and kiss in public.
Cry during a movie.
Walk naked around the house.
Fall in love.

Why do we deny ourselves the fun? Why do we care what other people think? Why do we feel guilty whenever we feel happy, just because...
...people are watching?
...our parents wouldn't approve?
...our friends wouldn't approve?
...we haven't finished our homework?
...haven't reached our quota?
...or haven't gone to church?

We all tend to focus more on the problems and challenges we encounter, rather than the process by which we go through these. On our quest to happiness, we don't realize that happiness is the instrument and the pathway to what we so desperately seek for. To become happy, we must be happy.

Conservative individuals argue that doing the crazy things in life would cause them to lose the respect they have earned. Is there really logic in that? Would you respect someone who witholds himself from doing something he wants because of what other people may think, or someone who does something he wants despite what other people may think?

The great minds of the past 21 centuries will never be forgotten because they all defied the status quo and did what they had to do... they may have defied the law of Man (e.g. Nelson Mandela, Andres Bonifacio, the Unknown Rebel who stood in front of 17 tanks in Tiananmen Square, 1989) or even the law of Nature (e.g. Albert Einstein), the Church (e.g. Copernicus, Galileo) or society itself (e.g. Martin Luther King, Helen Keller, Ghandi), and beliefs that have been established for generations... they may have been imprisoned or they may have died for their cause... but in the End, they earned the respect they so deserved...because they stood up for what they believed in. Because they had the guts and the courage to seize the moment and make a difference.

So let's learn, instill and act from what they have demonstrated...

To live for the moment, by the moment.

No matter the consequence.

No matter the drama.

Dance as if no one's watching... Love like you've never been hurt...

Be-hold My Be-hind

2004-12-31T14:15:00.000+08:00

Having a sucky evening...

I search through my fuzzy mem'ry

4 some trigger-happy thots!

Ironically, one fine day, (well almost), shot right back to me.

The scene was one of those silly trips to the mall with a good ol' pal...

Another cheap thrills of being in 4th year high was to experience, even just once, cutting classses.

So there went one of those fine school days, (wel... almost) ... We rode the bus to Megamall & alas! with all smiles as if it was my first taste of freedom, I eagerly jumped out of the bus all anxious to pierce through the thick crowd and reach the front porch until...

until...out of nowhere this man, such horrible stranger, pinched my behind... I tell you... he just grabbed my butt out of the blue... forcing me to scream my lungs out for that one millisecond (in high pitch)!... Talk about total shock & trauma! And as if that wasn't enough to satisfy him, this ill-bred or should I say lunatic, even had the guts to say, "Mmmm Sarap ng Pwet mo" (Mmm Your Butt's so good) before running away.

How offensive men get these days, huh? The funny thing is, looking back I now find it oh so funny. I hope not because I now fancy the thought of strangers touching my behind. Definitely not! (I'd give my best taekwondo routine should anyone dare? Beware you fool I'm a white belter! ... Oh gosh I am JUST a white belter!? *S%&!!)

Oh well, I guess horrible memories tend to get funny as time flies. Suddenly you can't remember the fear anymore. Suddenly it all seems but a joke (well... almost).

Pamster Update Rundown #1

2004-12-28T17:26:00.001+08:00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Artiste In Moi!
Greatly inspired by Pacita Abad's "circles", I painted my own version and it turned out to be not bad at all. For a first try, I should say it was "fantastic!". I'm experimenting on cheap acrylic for now but if I find that the medium suits me I guess I won't think twice in investing on best quality materials. Any Suggestions for all ya painters out there?! yuhooo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I miss dancing!!! ' recently got this urge to perform Janet Jackson tracks (wanna offer me a venue... heheh) ; especially "Together Again" & "All For You", the videos are superb & the moves are definitely my type of groovin'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Act-Now Policy
I'm lagging behind the schedule... Actually, I realized I haven't set up a solid sched yet.PLAN. FOCUS. ACT-NOW. CHANGE. These are key words I'd like to live up to all thru next year. For starters, I'd just hafta start TODAY!!! ' Start with my thesis, my precious final year project. No more putting things up to tomorrow! (a) 1 chapter a day or even 1 book a day (b) survey questions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FYP
The use of ICTs by Filipino migrants in redefining their national identity. This will eventually serve as a feasibility study for OFW-TV's web-based community tv.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6pm exactly here in Singapore & I'm craving for Fruit Salad; Steamed Crabs; Laing; Pork BBQ; Manggang Hilaw! *Shucks*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My 1st official acrylic painting
© 2004 by Pamela Almeda

Leading Fulfilling Lives

2004-12-27T17:40:00.000+08:00

My friend Jini and I are planning to do a presentation for IBM on the topic "Perspectives of the Young on Leading Fulfilling Lives". It is a contest but I don't think much of it as that. Honestly, I simply want to discover others' views on it and present my own definition as well.

Success is, indeed, relative to each person's values and desires. However I still believe that people leading fulfilling lives share common traits or perspectives. Some of these include: (a) valuing others and not only self (b) having a passion for life & continuous learning (c) being action-oriented (d) unafraid to make mistakes and even (e) finding the fun at work or any endeavor. This is what we can thoroughly investigate.

My own Definition of Fulfillment or Success

For me being fulfilled in life means NOT living in want. In a sense fulfillment means being contented; having fun while doing what you believe in. Hence, in my opinion, one significant ingredient to leading a fulfilling life is enjoying what you do.

Modern living has somewhat taken away laughter & cheers at work. Sadly, a lot of people live frustrated lives, which in my opinion, is the ultimate opposite of success.

Furthermore, another essential ingredient for one's fulfillment is having the heart to share whatever success or winnings you have achieved. This means sharing the blessings you received to your circle of influence, be it family, friends or the larger community. As one's fulfillment progresses and matures, one's circle also increases and you become better able to give as well as receive.

But then again, the circle of life goes on like a wheel and most often that not you realize, well, you're not always “up”. This makes the difference. Because for those who lead fulfilling lives: it is not the circumstance that define them, but it is their strong faith, determination and hope to act inspite of, that realizes their dream. Whether up, down or in the middle, they strive and continue “wheeling” along (always with a smile *wink*).

Christmas Cheers!

2004-12-24T13:58:00.000+08:00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merry Christmas to yall !!!

Hugs & Kisses & miracles for your Christmas! Maligayang Pasko po!

The Happiest People of the World (Part 1)

2004-12-22T13:34:00.000+08:00

I've just finished dumping the first

batch of my laundry in the washing machine.

Passing through the hall's tv room to get back

to my own room (well, I did not have any better way out),

I instinctively pulled up the day's newspaper

that was all scattered on the tiny centrepiece

just below the hanging television.

The Straits Times issue wasn't that interesting,

save for the newly launched mindyourbody insert.

Yup, health is one top priority for Singaporeans,

(followed by personal safety and happiness they say).

But... what actually caught my attention was the headline:

"They're Nigerian."... and then in bold,

"They are also the happiest people in the world."

Huh?!, I muttered with a tone of skepticism.

Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against Nigerians, ok!

It's just that I thought all along

that Filipinos were the happiest bunch on earth!

Well, at least an American teacher here in school told us so

Plus, my friends said they read an article about it once.

I never saw it though.

Apparently, a worldwide resesarch on 65 countries

showed that people from Nigeria had the

highest levels of happiness in the world.

Mexico, Venezuela, El Salvador and Puerto Rico followed

while Russia, Armenia and Romania had the lowest.

Maybe THE Philippines wasnt included in the research at all...

WHICH explains why we didn't make it to the top of the happiest people on this earth!!! (pampalubag loob?! hehe)

We're a happy people! Flips! Yeah...

I'd like to believe we weren't part of the study!

hapeee! happpy happpy we!

But...who said we need them to affirm that anyway!?

*sigh*

Final Analysis: It's between U & GOD

2004-12-20T17:08:00.000+08:00

Heard this first in church & Rex also posted this is hotpandesal groups!

DO IT ANYWAY by Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

2004-12-16T18:25:00.000+08:00

3:00 pm
@ my desk

webmail.ntu.edu.sg>
inbox>
new message>

open

...towards Blk N1, L1 of CEE;

go through 1st block & take the lift down one level to B1.

Walk towards far end of block N1 building, then see transportation lab...

log out

3:45 pm

@ the bus stop

I'm on my way to this briefing for a Civil & Environmental Engineering Project. They need some hand to complete a survey by Jan. next year. 'think if I'd help out I can also learn how to go about the survey for my thesis. Plus, earning some dough, wouldn't hurt me much. Yipee!

So I go...just out of the shower smelling tutti fruity, all dressed in my maroon mini, criss-cross sandals and grey camisole under this sheer beige middy.

It's raining... waiting for the shuttle bus to bring me to Canteen A... @%&$! (There goes the thunder). Now the rain pours heavier than usual and still no sign of that green-&-white rickety shuttle.

All too worried of being late, I shake my right foot incessantly. The clapping sound seems to irritate this fella beside me though. But ' the heck!Across the road, bus B has arrived. Argh! I can't cross the road with this heavy downpour, not without an umbrella! Besides, I don't really wanna mess up my getup. But too late fo' that.

The rain's pouring like crazy now, say 10 times when it all started. The wind breezes past me with all the wet-wild-glory: my hair 'a mess & some drippin' drapes... Gotta stay calm and steady!

Now background sounds amplify:I hear swarms of crickets invading this tiny bus stop?! They dance and prance and ... I just gotta stop daydreaming. (rewind) The raindrops smash the hot cement as the heat seem to sizzle. I stare blankly on the wet road and I can't just help it... love drifting and imagining things...

It's as if I'm inside this painting once again. I say once again because I'm all too sure I've been here before, a year or so I guess... Each stroke is all too familiar. Relaxing beneath the comfort of this wonderful serenity.... I suddenly get cut off...

Suddenly, conscious of the rain and its nagging "you will be late" "you'll surely miss it" "you will be late" "you'll surely miss it", I catch a glimpse of the painter. Sadly, the painter decides to wash out this canvass. Pails of water pour on me but I just couldn't be erased from all this serenity.

The water drops and dances on the ground like colorless-miniatures of New Year fireworks. And I.... I stop. Finally...

Finally, shuttle bus A is fast approaching. Guess I'd still make it for CEE's Project & perhaps, make some bits o' dough.

Enough of me and my day dreams.

~ 30 ~

"Flip"-side of Success

2004-12-12T02:53:00.000+08:00

Please visit www.ofw-tv.com and check out:

~~~“Flip”-side of Success ~~~
An encounter with successful Filipinos here in Singapore... Hear them define ‘success’ and what it takes to get there!

The term “flip” in the dictionary means ‘to go mad’ or ‘to go crazy’. But did you know that “flip” also refers to Filipinos? Yes, Filipinos have been tagged as “flips” for years now especially in the USA.

But don’t get offended if someone calls you a “flip”. This somewhat derogatory term has evolved to simply mean ‘Filipino immigrant’. Thanks to our hardworking and successful kababayans worldwide who make us all proud.

If there is one thing we “flips” go crazy about, well, it’s the passion for life and laughter. Now, be proud to be “flip”! Be proud to be part of this happy people. Cheers to the “Flip”-side of Success!

IT's All 'Bout LiFe!!!

2004-12-08T10:05:00.000+08:00

November nineteen to December 7

The day after my exam was the start of an exploration of some sorts. 'Twas my expedition into the world called "LIFE". Life, as you know it, is usually plain, simple & boring. Unlike the movies, we go through day after day seeing and doing almost the same things. But for me, these days were different: a spoonful of interesting stories, a cup of curiosity & excitement and a dash of frazzle & poop! : a few added reasons why I'd probably become a journalist or at least a media practitioner.

It's not all about shaking hands with success nor is it the star frenzy, for me it's more of the wide perspective you get after hearing a whole lot of issues. At the end of the day, you wonder "How on earth can I make a difference"? Inspiration, enthusiasm & passion plays a big part in both the happy & sad stories. Hard work, endurance & patience drive dreams into reality!

(pictures coming soon!)

PROMAX, Nov. 29-30, i loved the talk on "Power of Point of View"

PROMAX, in one of the conference halls, it's the old parliament of singapore, now it's the Arts House...

Jini,me & the Big Wine tasters! LoOoVElay! harhar!

Utt, after hosting promax mtv-style, gave me the lovely promax bag, yeah! WB dude! me & my harassed look! hehe!

Promax Gals on d way home, chillin' @d mrt

new day, new phone O2x phone, amazing phone sa pinas...got the latest ver. so trying the built-in cam, loOove it!

just before the encounter at Pacita Abad's home with her hubby Jack: Pasko Na!!!

Filipino artist, world-renowned painter Pacita Abad, has passed away due to cancer of the lungs last Dec. 8, but her legacy continues... & her beauty remains showcased in her magnificent works of art. Do you see that "Painted Bridge"? That's simply Pacita! She definitely inspires me to push the boundaries of what seems possible!

This is free-spirited Pacita in 1984. Jus love this pic.

Dec. 4 & 5: Another day & finally met one of the few people I admire, Lovely Donita it is! Thanks to my friends at GMA! There's her hubby Eric & Baby J.P. & the gang, Kuya Juni, ate Wella, kuya Jason, Angelo & me. It was Donita's birthday last Dec. 5 and she joined a marathon on that day.

Sir Mike Enriquez at "gulong park" in Singapore? Do you see him?

Aba! may nagpapicture din sakin! ok dito sa gulong ah! heheh!

BBC's Rico Hizon has been kind to meet us for dinner & yup he's a kind soul... he's very accomodating, I did a project & interviewed him once, no star complex! astig!

Kodak moments with Sir Mike, while waiting for another take at Orchard!

In a nutshell, all I can say is, well, that's life! In between the photos are stories more compelling than what is captured in that instant flash! Oh and...

~~~Please check out www.ofw-tv.com~~~
Watch my fuwend Whia in "Gandang Pinay"
You'll see me there next week too in "Flip"-side of Success.

My Technophobia

2004-11-17T22:21:00.001+08:00

I'm havin my last exam for 2004 tomorrow, bu-bu-but I've been here sitting butt aching, skipping from online shops and classifieds to useless chat rooms... just to catch a glimpse of the best deal for an apple powerbook or perhaps even a pearl white ibook.

There's been some funny thoughts running through my head lately; it seems I've seen it once or twice in a magazine or a digi-column...the only difference is... it's my name spelled out this time: The new macintosh man of Asia: Pamela Almeda!!!

Yes! I've been entertaining the idea of swapping roles with Mr. Peter Barber (The Macintosh Man of Asia, they say); toying with the idea of facilitating the topmost post production facilities of the region; dreaming of these crunchy treats: the Pismos,the ipods and all the delicious apple gizmos available.

I remember the first time I laid my eyes (and hands) on this lovely 15" powerbook which my friend lent me a few months back... it was love at first sight (you can say that)! The sexy titanium design topped with that slim lightweight feel and the sleek widescreen made me fall for this macintosh.

It was my first bite on the apple.

Two to three years ago you would never hear me talk like this. Funny, how I amaze myself at times. I mean, I've never seen myself as someone tech-savvy nor someone interested in all the techie trinkets this modern world can offer. For one, I have this trauma with computers.
Back then in my early high school days, I had all these bad experiences with my computer. It was a nauseating relationship and I hated electronics stuff since then. Think about this: you've typed a twenty page report and for some reason your computer blanks out on ya. Sounds familiar? I'm sure one or two of you can relate to what I'm saying, the Philippine energy crises, halloooo!

But my computer did not only give up on me during these times. On strange occassions, as if echoing our mutual disgust for each other, it would simply decide to hang, to make strange & irritating noises, to suddenly reboot or shut down, and if I'm lucky it would have had auto-saved my work. Unfortunately I was most often than not, UNlucky. I would crawl myself to the cranky Brother typewriter which nevertheless had the automatic erase feature and think: why on earth didn't I work here earlier on. But there were also lotsa times that Brother acted just like Mr. PC. And there I'd wish I was living in the stone age or probably in ancient times when hieroglyphics was hot! I'd do anything to escape the whims and fancies of the electronic age. I thought to myself, I love the smell of ancient-seasoned paper!

What's worse was having to wake up your father in the middle of the night, disturb his deep sleep and ask him to fix your rebellious computer. Honestly, there were those days I felt like I awakened a big grizzly bear from his hibernation camp. I'd be frightened by an almost animalistic howl. There were times though that the big bear seemed more cuddly, more like a cub I guess. But the same nagging animalistic howls remained.

This was how I got this technophobia, the "electro-phobia". But apple changed all that. I found one best friend that could save me from this boring city...I guess. I'll get back to you on this with another entry It's 10:19pm. my clock, gotta start studying before I fall asleep! (I hate this running thot of the grizzly running after me hungry and distressed)

Poncho

2004-11-14T11:11:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I have this thing for the word "Poncho"?

It's not that I love rain or what

Just used to think that I had the word made up myself I guess

I don't think it's because my grampa's name is Ponciano

Or that it sounds a li'l bit like Punch!

I just have this thing about the word Poncho...

Who on earth knows why?

All I know is I'd like to name my dog Poncho.

Poncho... PonchoOOOO.. PonchoWwww!...Poncho.

"Poncho" up there (i'm yet to get the real one) was given to me by Angelo April last year.

One rare "Kolasa" Day

2004-11-11T11:17:00.000+08:00

It was the ninth of November.
A few days have passed but I still giggle with the thought of my girlfriends.

We were invinsible in high school, or so we thought.

P.

N.

L.

"PaJaMa Ni LoLo"

Pam. aka Djoux Drena

Jam. aka Shandy

Maj. aka Maj

Nat. aka Khalil Inq

Leslie. aka Bambah

Lariza. aka Brez

Larissa. aka Khylie

[ With what it's worth, PNL was a small subset of the "homogenous" class, a crass term for the honor's class I suppose. We sorta delighted with the idea of being part of the so-called 'intellectual elite' but a tinge of dismay was inevitable considering being nicknamed the "homos" (strange connotations huh?!). Besides, we sorta played this rythm which was kinda off beat from the mainstream of all the so-called 'homos' e.g. Leadership Training Seminar, Meetings with the real Ms. P, the story of the stone table, Elections for the environment club, the recollection dramas, the random calls to who-knows-who, the attention grabbing hair accessories.. oops!, the cylindrical tank & the pea... and who'd forget the spice girls act (If you're a PNL you should get all these) ]

Anyway, it was a Tuesday afternoon and by some mystic leap of fate, I bumped into Nat online yahoo messenger. You should understand how exciting this moment was for me. You see, for the almost-4-years I've been here in Singapore, I never had a chance to chat with Nat-nat online. Although we see each other whenever I'm in Metro-philly (to borrow one of Nat's coined term), I still miss our small talks and deep chit-chats.

Nat was the youngest whiz kid in our batch. She's been my solid partner in one of the most carefree days of my life i.e. Hard Rock yugyugan days; Hotel hopping & crashin' buffet treats; ex-boyfriends barkada romance (the horse and the frog heehee!), Birthday buddies all night; that's just to name a few... So it was darn one rare occassion! And who'd guess that through her I'd also be chatting with another long lost friend, who else but Maj?! Thing is, I haven't seen Maj for all the years I was back and forth Manila and Singapore.

Maj was another strong lady who believed in me, a partner in reaching new heights: from high school dances and living room sagas (just to get parental consent before we'd escape for another gimik spree!)to deviant...or should I say unique fashion trends and even to college (DLSU)leadership trainings.

The three of us were just eager to find out the latest on each other's life be it career-wise and of course everbody's 'love life'. We went through most of them: Simon, Ricky, Macky, Mike, Angelo, Coy, Joel, Andro, Mark.... the list went on... I realized Nat was the most blest in this respect or is she? (Let's ask Mr. M of Mr. J) and Maj refused or simply didn't have one after Mr. S.(Maybe time didn't permit). As for me, I shared a bit on Mr. A.

Then, as girl talks usually roll, it came to stories on other girls e.g. who's married and preggy in our high school batch... Who's doing what...Who's this & that...I thought to myself, amazed at how time flies and how conversations change through the passing of time. 'Pretty soon, maybe say five more years, conversations would drift from the sensational bf/gf to how many kids we all have. Scary! (sino kaya hubbies namin lahat?) Exciting! (Bait? cutey!?) Ewan! Hehe!

Finally, came the blogger story. Nat and I effortlessly convinced Maj to put up her blog! Yehey to the power of two! Maj the "creative cow"(<--- Nat:*censored*). Kindly refer to Maj's new site for the complete story. - majician.blogspot.com

Our mini conference was short lived, thanks to Maj's busy schedule. But it was surely fun reminiscing and going through all those catch up thrills. My girlfriends are treasures hard to find. I realized that although we're treading different paths now, we still have a lot in common. One strange PNL heartbeat goin on there?! ...A passion for life & a search for one's identity at its best...

Maj is now a successful producer in the biggest production house in the Philippines! Beat that!

Nat, now on 1st yr med proper, is on her way to be the #1 doctor in the Philippines (together with 2 other PNL's who'd share the same spot namely Dr. Jam & Dr. Chex)

As for me, I'll be graduating next year to find my "soul success"! SimplAaaay LaOOoovelAaaay!!!

p.s. visit natalisms.blogspot.com to have a share of Nat's peppershaker thots... Maj donch 4get to send me the video! Won't mind getting another of those hard-knock laughs!
Maj, with Eartha, got me to act for their "Kamay ng Tadhana" video when she could have done perfect for the role. hehe!
(to be continued)

To a friend who's now a father

2004-11-08T19:05:00.000+08:00

Seeing your baby makes me feel the wonder of being simply sweet and so innocent without even trying. It's amazing how one lovely soul is born to the world; skin so smooth, each step so fragile... She's beautiful . What I love most is her thick curly black hair. It's just so natural, reminds me of the sad reality though, that as people grow up the unnatural tends to subsume the spirit i.e. colored rebonded hairsdos, fake nails, make up & all the what-have-yous of this modern age.

But then again, as I pay attention more closely, the second time around, makes me realize that babies like Juleana give us some hope, hope in the mere presence of that fresh innocence bringing us back to the beginning of our own fairytale... because 'once upon a time' we were also young, sweet and innocent.

I pray that you'd see her through this life and give her one lovely fairytale she deserves.

an unwanted series

2004-11-02T13:44:00.000+08:00

This is one of those days when all things uncontrollable unite against you.
In stressful times such as these (a.k.a. D heat of exams), my number one enemy is sleep.Yup! Pamster is Master Crammer these days.
And so when a pile of readings (which take note: could fit in one giant 'balikbayan' box or two)has been touched pretty rarely for the whole semester, it's no surprise one will resort to certain desperate measures (a.k.a. D no sleep mode).
which brings me back in a nice roundabout to my short story:

Last night I actually planned a strategy on how to breeze the first exam of my fourth and final year! (yehey! to that). Since the exam was on media law and the exam guide given by our teacher was quite revealing and pretty comprehensive, I figured I could construct my well-thought out points that night, put them in outline form black & white, and then voila! - continue practicing the whole night til morning as if the exam was actually going on at that very moment. So writing for two hours (as my exam would be 9:30 to 11:30 the next morning)and repeating the process would give me the best shot.

In hindsight, I actually planned this strategy days ago. So the plan was exactly the same for the day before yesterday , save some "dilly dallying" in between.

(Now close your eyes for a minute and imagine time flew fast forward and...)
Pamster-master-crammer stares blankly to the basketball net on her right. Sitting aimlessly in a chair surrounded by 500 others or so inside the indoor basketball court of the Sports Recreation Center where the exam was set, her mind races in trip---trap---trip---trap---. Once or twice she pauses forgetting her point, it's total mental black out!Argh!

Considering that she's grabbed the whole package of sleep the night before she should have been more composed but what if she was not able to follow the initial strategy of battle?

(back to reality and a little fast forward)
And yes that was exactly what happened. my greatest enemy deceived me: Mr. Sleep seduced me into the bed for a second(Boo for that!)& I, stupid I, thinking for one fleeting moment that I will have the boldness to stand up against my comfy pillows, freshly washed bedsheets and cool soft cushions, I succumbed.

And so the story goes, I woke up horrified that it was merely an hour before the exams and I was a million footsteps away from the testing area. The battle was lost for this one.

Tomorrow I've got two exams to battle in a row (one for the morning session and the other in the afternoon)! I'm not so sure how the fight will be this time. But I still hope I could try focusing on reviewing and actually pursuing my strategy and not be stuck here in the computer blabbing to you that I should have simply not slept: my main point. Finally!

See sleep makes you slow, ironic!

finding the right mix

2004-10-25T19:31:00.000+08:00

It takes time to get to know someone
1 year may be enough for some
But others take a lot more than that
Even a whole lifetime of being together
won't really mean anything
unless....

unless you find the right mix;
that perfect blend I suppose.
'This a magic potion?
perhaps not too surreal as that.
I don't know why I find this so true
A moment ago it seems you couldn't get through
He seemed all too different for you
But at a snap, just recently, I'm beginning to feel home here.
Funny! Because a year ago I didn't see myself here.
Well, I'm here. In the process of becoming.
Have found the right mix?
"A perfect concoction!" I ironically agree.

To everyone there's a different something
that tickles; To each soul is one perfect mix.
For this transitory state of solitude
Bet I'd stir a' shake & hope to find each one I love
their own perfect blend; mix my curious interest and some
passion to expose what was once unknown.

Go find that rare pool of peeps
Then I'd say I'd be more than a happy life! Incessant Bliss!

Random thots on a sleepless night

2004-10-25T01:25:00.000+08:00

I like centers & cores; not much of them outskirts
I'd love to swim the raging rivers of life
Dip thine fingers and feel the moment's passion.
Lovely memories of love tickle my solemn reveries
I delight in being different and unique
But I've always desired some form of attachment
to people places and even cute li'l things

You're more than enough for me

2004-10-13T17:27:00.000+08:00

Lord, you're more than enough for me

miracle day once again. It's just amazing how God picks us up and shows us things worth knowing. And this day is one of them days.

There are a lot of days when I've shrugged a shoulder to His whisper, calling me back home. I guess, I simply love to "partttDDaaaay". I'm talking about clean fun here. But still He's right...'it's past 12 and way beyond my bedtime'! I pretended deaf all along. Yeah, I've ignored the whisper. "It seemed too tiny a voice to be Father calling me anywayzzzz",I shrug once more.

Well hear me out now, don't you dare ignore that tiny voice, you silly Billy. It will get louder you know. Maybe next time it's not a whisper anymore, but something that will blow your ears out. Or if that's too extreme, it can be more like strage things happening around you, friends, family, just name it?

I've had strange things happening to me lately. Well for this particular day, I'm glad it's the 'strange' turned into the 'miraculous'. A story of power prayer I suppose. Caught in a rut once again; pails of tears over me; it's like those moments in the movies when a bomb explodes on that seemingly normal day. It's the moment when suddenly the color turns to gray and the scene all of a sudden moves slow... very slow and in disarray. And your just on the verge of going berserk or you just stiffen, not knowing which step to take; where to take it in the first place... you know what I mean.

I'll reserve the details of this strange story for another entry. But point is, I was caught in a rut and well, God saved me. Now let me tell you the feeling when you jump right out of the strange story and into another miraculous scene. It's not a seamless cut to the next episode. But it's another scene set on another place altogether, a happy place this time.

The shock remains, and I'm still a little shaky but
at this point everything's back where you first started, before the bad news broke out; before the bomb fell on you. And now I'm back here once more in front of the computer. God has saved me. He carried me through. I called out to Him with all desperation and humility, "I wanna go back home now Father". I mustered all strength to call out to Him and he was there to listen. My best friend, lover of my soul,my savior, the knight of my fairy tale...

I still feel the aftershock of that shaking. He wanted me to pay attention this time. And now I know, I will be here to listen. Forget the parttdaaaaay! There are a million and one ways to have fun here at home; beside my loving Father.

What story have you got today? It's ok that it's kinda strange coz I assure you it can still be a fairy tale. I love Jesus!!! Hope you do tooo my friend!

In a trance

2004-10-11T01:08:00.000+08:00

Are you sure you're awake when "you are"
And you're dreaming when "you are"
Or is this just a dream altogether...
Perhaps, it's the other way around?
You're actually dreaming when you think you're awake...
And you're simply living this dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, before I hit the books and continue my exciting study session
(one of a series of crammin'-catch-up deals I had to jump into, once again,
now that exams are 3 weeks up & comin')just gotta call out all ye romantix:
Do watch Before Sunset starring Ethan Hawke. The movie is just
so true. I guess it's rare you find this in films; capturing 'the moment'. I bet
some of you may find yourselves nine years from now hanging on a limbo and
finding the right answers to your love questions at the wrong time.

To another lonely soul...

2004-10-07T20:02:00.000+08:00

The first time you discover how bad the world can be is one moment that will change your life forever. It's painful to know loved ones who, at such a young age, grow weary of life. Not denying the smiles in their faces nor the tough look they may exude, but in the words that come out from their hearts...you can't deny the hatred lying deep within.

To feel that cold and dark void where inevitable confusion lives (to be all the more nurtured) is to walk in a crooked path: one lonely road which sadly seems hard to get out of. What's worse is not knowing you're in it.

My heart bleeds to see them there. I guess everyone goes through a wrong way, having ignored that 'road less travelled'at some point or another. But being there and having to see others walk through those angry walls are two different things.
For one, you can't help but see where they're headed and point two, you know you can't really do much.

The torture is the desire to change things, (to change the world in some significant way)because the more you try, the more you realize it's impossible. There is no such thing as a perfect world alongside imperfect people. Besides, the eternal fact remains: only one perfect being walked the halls of earth.

I live to seek perfection but the search is disappointing, for to one lonely soul is but another.

~"to change the world in one significant way" when you can't even change yourself???~

I'd like to see love in their childhood bloom until their teenage years; I'd like to glance at their innocence as they begin the tough journey of adulthood; I'd like to be here forever dreaming... Dreaming of a heaven here on their earth.

Something About Me

2004-10-02T21:08:00.000+08:00

WHO AM I?

Who am I…But a relic of tomorrow; a dream of ages ago. There’s just the present left for me now. Yet each daring moment seems eternal and beautiful ~ all the same. I love the melody of truth-the warmth it brings is comforting (like a forbidden hug that shares your first ever love). In spite of all the depth I see, I’d bask in my own heart’s thumping. I’d dare go where my dreams will fly; off to paradise or even to another lonely soul. Perfection rules in certain times but change remains constant, isn’t it so?… This journey takes just one forever-ride and I’ll stay on assured of an exciting & meaningful life.

I'm simply unpredictable! A perfect blend of spices & sweets. I 've started to like chilly and ‘ really love strawberries, sugar–coated, whipped or dashed with some salty feel.

I hate lizards in the room: they jump & pop & give me a heart attack. I love dogs that don't howl so I’d take care of one; name him “Poncho”. Simply love the sound of it!

They say I always walk, talk & do just about anything with my chin up. I guess it's just because I once dreamt of becoming a model but didn't have the height to measure up. haha!

I can be lovable at times. I'll cheer yowap with my fun stories & life adventures!

I can laugh hard enough my lungs could explode. And when I cry it can be really ugly.

I love performing up on stage: dancing or acting. Singing / dancing alone in the room drives the low times away.

I'm the only girl in my family but I've always dreamt of having my own li’l sis. There's a lot I wish to share wif her.

i believe in Jesus and the sunscreen song, well most of
it. i'm tough (strong-willed) but still a hopeless
romantic

I am this and I am that. All these idiosyncracies are li'l things my true friends dearly love.

After all the happy and the sad, there's just one point I wish to go: To see Jesus and be in heaven for eternity.

My Sunshine

2004-10-01T11:10:00.000+08:00

I miss our innocence and our deep love
Nobody knows the depth of our passion
No one can ever take the truth in our hearts
And though you've gone and all seems but a memory
Our legacy continues & just a mere thought of you brings me back to life
For you've taken my heart once & only you can bring it back
I love the simple thought of you for it keeps my soul alive
I loved you

You've never been far away from me
For in between the deep waters that separate us
Are Oceans of beautiful memories

My Homy Hideout

2004-09-28T19:40:00.000+08:00

~My Homy Hideout
~

This warm cubbyhole: my parking place

Seek some relief and endless solemn retreat

Behold me round your sheets of peace

Come hold your walls away from peeves

Mornings glitter sun-sparkling gold

Faint breath of mint spice up one whiff

Press night and day softly and gently as we kiss.

I don't exactly know why but this is one of those rare ocassions where I actually enjoy being alone in this tiny place (a.k.a. my room, my double room I share with Chaz my roomie; unit 1043) . I'd usually bounce off the eerie place of silence, leave the room, find some place noisy and crowded (because in such solid moments I can but speak). Yes.. hummmm a tune off my mind. (doo dooo dooot uhm... doo dooo dooo dooo dooo doo duhm --- ) Every second seemed like forever.

But staring blankly on the wall and stopping for a flashing sec, I actually feel refreshed in some strange yet lovely way. It's a funny feeling of fleeting thoughts and senses. Like the story begins with "Once upon a time I was a jumping jelly bean..."

I guess it's simply relieving that I got one task down. 301. (now checking it off the to-do-list) Here comes yet another one- 325. 402. 348. 423. Well, the stone just rolls like one eternal ride. But I stretch my arms with every turn. Some bumps, big bruise, no time to hide the pain.

Yet once it's all done, you sit back and enjoy the thump-thumping ride!

And...well appreciate the solitude in finding this tiny-roomie-cubbyhole home. This room's my home with pictures on the wall; there's cheese balls too and books cover them all. I simply love milo, i like them thin and hot. I have big pillows that dwarfs me in my sleep. I smile at my two-toned pink towel which straps a patch of colorful butterfly. I like the Ikea yellow light, the yellow sand-stuffed duckie and my bright sunflower pot . I fancy all the brights and grays: the dust and used clothes come one and all together. I can't help but tell you of my gypsy beads that hang like curtains in its silver glitz.... the music of all these things and other tales untold gives life to my heart beats and my sole day retreats

One deep breath.. and am ... am gonna fall asleep. I'd just go and stop this hummmming send you off to your own quiet and peace.

(doo dooo dooot uhm... doo dooo dooo dooo dooo doo duhm --- )

Argh!

Chinese Sunbeams & Belly Feasts

2004-09-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

Chinesee Mid-Autumn festival!

chinse sunbeams & belly feasts

Jostling through the mist of the dusk were some familiar faces & countless unfamiliar ones. Couldn't but notice the gleam in each child's eyes as they bounce on the dew and the green green grass. With lanterns of rainbow colors all candlelit, I couldn't help but feel a little bit Chinese. Surrounded by the Shaolins in such traditional twilight, everything's so distant so far away from my homy hideout...

Hey, but really the celebration at the Yunnan Garden was quite a unique night ~ al fresco, red hanging lamps, buffet, noodles, dumplings, lotsa chinese lanterns, ancient trees, ice cream and food! food! food! (that's the part that gets better) ...

What a relief after all the day's running about school... Actually I only had two classes for today. But you dunno how it can really get weighty when you start the day talking about media law and end it with some deep stuff on Adorno's 'enlightened' philosophies. It could either just bug you down or it can lift you up in some place they call uhn-light-uhn-ment. Unfortunately for today... or fortunately I guess, it's simply the first one that holds true. So yeah! I admit for a minute there, you would have actually chatted with madame numb brained or miss brain freeze.

... I sit here now all focused on such a reminiscient mood; simply on the brink of another day's closing...

I think overall it's been quite a fulfilling day (even if I didn't get any goody bags coz I was 5 mins. late for the Q; even if I did not win any prize in the raffle draw; even if that irritating ant bit my bellybutton and I figured how to kill her; even if I had to walk a thousand and one steps to get back to hall; even if...).

The Chinese mid-autumn festivals in school are one of the handful events I have and will look forward to. It gives me some strange ironic feeling of being far from home but still in some way close to it. The differences and the similarities blend in some mystical manner. I love the aroma of freshly cooked food mixed with the smell of dew. It's just so minty and indochine...

to make this long story short just drop by & have a glimpse of it:

http://www.tclf2004.tk/

Sorry my eyes are nothing but heavy so gotta rest this sleepy sweet head! Sunbeams and glorious dreams be with me and thine!

-7-

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